Sunshine and Light

Feeling the pain

Well I was going to respond to Vica’s post about turning lesbian because of the lack of men who loved her, but I have to admit that I’m in such a great mood after today’s stage of the Tour, that this may come across not as reflective as it was in my brain early this AM. It may even be downright merry.

I sympathize with that “Is there any male in the world for me?” kind of feeling sooo much that I have to admit to feeling a bit of survivor’s guilt. When I think of my hetero single girlfriends who very much want to meet Mr. Right, I have to wonder how the heck I got so lucky. These are women for whom I have a lot of love and respect, and really believe that they are just more fabulous people than I. But somehow, I met an awesome guy with whom I intend to spend the rest of my life, and they’re still looking. And I can’t even say that it was anything I did that helped me meet my husband. So that leaves me in the awkward position at times of wanting to tell them to hang in there, that not yet doesn’t mean not ever, without sounding like I’m preaching or being smug married. (see Bridge Jones’s Diary, the greatest book about being single in your 30s, ever.) And suddenly some of the things that I was told by my already married friends make sense. Not necessarily that they made sense, but they just that sense of wanting to give hope. Alas, not having either the gift of prophecy or even the smarts to get myself a date most of the time, I end up tripping over myself trying to reassure that the reason they haven’t met a man who loves them yet has nothing to do with their worth, and only with the fact that the right dude has not yet come along.

So that now explains to me my very sweet friend explaining to me that God wouldn’t have given me the desire in my heart to be married if it wasn’t going to be so. I sure hope she didn’t hear that mental thought I had of “And what am I supposed to do now, Glenda the good witch, click my heels together and say ‘There’s no place like a wedding, There’s no place like a wedding’?” (Then again, I also remember the little girl who was aghast at finding that I was 30 and unmarried “well, you better hurry up!!” Because, you know, I hadn’t settled down into the hunt properly yet and needed a 10 year old to set me right.) Then there were the friends who had been dating each other for a long time, and who were floored that I would even want to get married. “Why?” they asked. “Because being single suuuuuccckks” I said.

Anyway, Vica, hang in there. If I knew anything more profound to add, I really would. But for now, I’ll just stay quiet and hope for the best for you.

Labels: Other Blogs

posted by MyHusbandRules @ 2:41 PM